Wednesdays are bad days…..


Really, they suck…Wednesday did not achieve the nickname  “humpday” for nothing.  And the Wednesdays are out to get me….

They start out well… if I have ironed my clothes the night before. I get up, shower, prepare and apply my appropriate teacher look, dress the baby and head out. I might add that the baby is a precocious two-year old that likes to run around naked, and my dear special man almost always packs my lunch. All that is required of me is to dress a little person and get myself looking semi-decent for the public. With all the help I have, I have even gone so far leaving the house looking stunning. (Seriously, the five-year-old says I’m beautiful.)

On to taking Gabs to school: I usually spend a few extra minutes prying the monkey vice grip from around my neck, but she doesn’t cry like her brother did, she just screams, so it’s a bit more bearable.

I am at the high school by 7. I spend 10 minutes begging Jesus to get me through the day. I ready my room as quickly as possible and then depart by 7:30 to the Old Auditorium….. for FCA.

Fellowship of Christian Athletes. THIS year I am the faculty sponsor.
Am I a coach? No.

Am I an athlete? …. I have the potential to be.

I mean, I’m probably in better shape than I was in high school,..(well, minus the mom flab that two C-sections have left me with for life.)

But that’s ok. Most of our students aren’t athletes, but they love JESUS. And each Wednesday morning I give them granola bars and fruit juice and we read the Bible and pray for each other.  It is AMAZING. Last year this group was lucky if three kids showed up and this year,  3 months in, we have almost 30! Student led, they meet on Wednesdays and Thursdays and they are desperate for a safe place to declare Christ at our crazy public school. Emotional high, every Wednesday, by 8:05 AM.

So, I’m sure those of you reading this are asking, “How are your Wednesdays bad?”

I’m not really sure….. ???

No. I’m kidding.

I know why they are bad. They are bad because, like clockwork, as soon as I walk out of that auditorium, away from the real presence of the Holy Spirit, and maneuver my way through approximately 300 students, just to walk through two hallways to my classroom, put my Bible on my desk, and begin to teach the enormously important literary elements that make the world go ’round, Satan is mad.

He has to be. Our school is 1400 (students) deep;  off-set by approximately 98 teachers, and 5 administrators. Amongst those 1400, the majority receive reduced or free lunch and close to 15 % are classified as special education students. Those demographics mean nothing to Jesus, but they mean a lot to us, humans…teachers who know what statistics imply about their home lives, discipline issues, social skills (or lack thereof), and the likelihood of what their future might hold. And honestly, by the time I an well into my first 90 minute block of teaching, Satan shoves it into my face in such a way that I have forgotten the sweet spirit of the junior girl whose daddy is battling cancer….again….and maybe for the last time.

This….is NOT my classroom.

By my second 90 minute block – a support class categorized by emotional and behavior issues that make teaching near impossible – I have forgotten the young man, (a star football player) and his sister (honor student)  who will both graduate this year. I met them when I taught them both during my second year of teaching…..the year their mother died of AIDS and they both make me proud. Every Wednesday they are there. I cry when I think about them.

By my last period of the day…I am tired. And I am embarrassed when I look into the eyes of the young lady who asked me to do this – to sponsor FCA. She sits in my third period class and excels in everything we put in front of her and quietly prays when we lose it on the rest of her classmates. She is meek and worries about her “lack of leadership skills,” but when she opens her Bible and begins talking about Jesus…..she glows.

And planning… Let’s just say that dealing with professionals (my co-workers) or parents should be easier than dealing with students….some days it is not.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”- John 10:10

All this is to say, Satan is playing dirty. From the Wednesday a student said she was going “to get me fired….” , the one where my kid ended up in the principal’s office, …….even to the one where a fellow teacher accosted me for perceived “unprofessionalism….”

It’s been a roller coaster. And I have relished in negativity, anger and spent days pouring over the Christian versions of Monster.com….thinking…“if only I were a youth minister…..”

If I were a youth minister…..

I wouldn’t be guaranteed access to the public school.

I wouldn’t be able to see those who need me in very literal sense each day.

I wouldn’t have met and loved the teen mom who reminded me of myself and been able to tell her that it would “be O.K.” I am looking forward to seeing  her graduate this coming May as well.

I wouldn’t have my co-workers who have turned into my best friends; the ones who have rooted me on all through seminary.

I am convicted and sorry that I have believed the Prince of Darkness and his lies about my conviction, ability, and impact. I have believed his lies about these broken lives I see everyday. Jesus loves them and I have seen the Lord do great and mighty things.

So, all this rambling to say that Jesus is moving at our high school….. and Wednesdays aren’t really bad days, just really challenging, and I need you to pray that I will keep my eyes firmly fixed upon our Sovereign Savior and love the school and these students like He does.

And remember…..when it’s a bad day…. God is still inthemidstofit— divinely placing you in the place He needs you to shine the brightest. Here is to a better Wednesday.

16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. -Matthew 5:16

2 thoughts on “Wednesdays are bad days…..

  1. Brilliant writing & raw emotion. i completely understand where you are coming from & still miss the days of being on campus & ministering to students each day. Thank you for sharing this my friend. Praying for you & your incredible family.

  2. I just wanted to let you know how much you and what you do mean to me. I feel blessed just having known you, and whether you realize it or not, you are and continue to be an inspiration. Keep doing what you do because I know that God is working through you because I have felt it. I am very grateful for your love, support, and affections. You have made a positive difference in my life.

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