“If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is an empty desk the sign of?” Have you ever heard this saying? I have claimed it for years…..because I live in clutter. Ask anyone who knows me. I am meticulous about my work, a finished paper etc….but my living spaces are a crazy cluttered mess. I’m not dirty, I don’t live in filth, I simply have a problem letting things go. Old bills, year old Halloween candy, magazines, books, wrapping paper, unused toys, you name it I’ve got it. Its not hidden away, it’s probably on a reachable surface in my living room or kitchen.
Now, if someone’s coming over, I can clean up quick or if you are someone who has reached family status, I simply don’t worry about it. I have a number of excuses, all of which are valid– but they don’ t solve the problem.
I’ve begun thinking about how there might be…(granted I’m not the one in the house with the psychology degree) a relationship between the clutter and with my way of dealing with emotions, problems, conflict, memories; all of that stuff we clutter our brains with. I never let go. I pray and pray and lay it all before the cross and the next day, a month, sometimes only 20 minutes later I pick it back and I’m miserable again.
I’ve begun to think that one relates to the other in such a way, that if I could fix one the other issue might be remedied as well. As it stands, things pile up until the task of dealing with it becomes insurmountable so it never gets dealt with. Guilt from past sins, insecurities, daily failures, future fears….all are in the same chaotic piles in my heart and mind, collecting dust as the papers and miscellaneous junk in our home.
Romans 12:2 says, And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
So, as summer vacation gets under way, I have decided to take a break from my classes and focus on the clutter. Hopefully in the next two months we can empty our home of it– and perhaps I can move out just a little from my soul.