Disciplined


Someone once told me that whatever you do on New Years Day is what you will be doing for the rest of the year. Every year I foolishly buy into this. I relish in the joy of whatever relaxation activity I am partaking in…. sleeping, time with the kiddos, time with Nathan, at the Lake, reading, etc. I remember last year I had a clean house and that was super exciting.

So, for New Years Eve when I found myself rocking it out in a Brooklyn Bar, surrounded by people very much not like me, I had a sense of accomplishment. I mean, if this means that 2015 is going to, take me out of my comfort zone, require travel and adventure then hey, I’m ALL for it.

So imagine my dismay as on New Years Day at approximately 11:35 AM,  I re-lived the scene from every romantic comedy where the young lady runs as fast as she can through a terminal to catch a plane to return to her very important love…..

However, imagine the heroine is actually a panic-stricken, afraid of flying,  angry mama-bear who is convinced she is not going to return to her children (her VERY IMPORTANT LOVES)…. I’m not kidding. I was fighting an anxiety attack. I was running as if  for a gold medal, tears falling, praying out loud, claiming the power of Jesus as I ran through JFK to get to our terminal. They announced, “Last call to Charlotte…..” and I took off as if my life depended on it.

And I made it. I frantically said, ”Please……(huffing for air)…..my husband….(more air, more huffing)….. He’s coming……” At this point I began to curl over.

“Ma’am he has four minutes.”

And as he rounded the corner, walking very fast, I thanked Heaven for rescue. We walked down into the plane to be greeted by attendants that said, “Yay, you made it!” in a nasally patronizing tone.

Sister, you have no idea.

We collapsed into our seats and Nathan reminded me that it was not a life or death situation (matter of opinion) and then complimented me on my sprint. Apparently I AM a better runner than him.

So, short story: I do not want to be in that state of panic for the rest of the year.

I think I have figured out how to make sure I endure 2015 with peace.

Before we left for adventure in New York City, I had a moment of clarity driving through the cold, wet, greyness that descends on the South for the holidays. In the thickness  of the cold and rain, I saw a runner (a bit of irony here, looking back). One of those dedicated types. Head- to- toe body armor, topped with a fluorescent vest and fluorescent skull cap. As I passed him I literally looked back to see his face….. and this man could have been my father. And I immediately thought, “Man! That is discipline.”

“Cody. You. Lack. Discipline.”

I heard the voice in my soul. Clear. Strong. Like a punch to the gut.

It followed me the rest of the day. I began asking myself some tough questions, like,  “Where am I undisciplined?”

I did a lot of rationalization, but that self-truth that I am loathe to admit took root. I am undisciplined. I’d like to say “SO WHAT!” and relish in my inadequacies but the deeper truth is that the places lacking discipline in my life foster unhealthy emotions, action and reactions to the world that are painful for me and those around me. My lack of discipline in these areas creates a safe and warm breeding ground for anxiety and fear that I wrestle with everyday. And when I think about the greats before me— the people I admire and want to be like…. they were/are VERY disciplined folks.

So what to do about it?

Most everyone likes to start the year with resolutions or goals. This year I am starting an adventure, a journey that I will share with you.

My personal study, devotion, and writing this year is going to focus on this concept of Discipline and what it looks like in every facet of my life.

  • I will focus on a different realm of importance each month.
  • I will strive to focus on the theology inthemidstofit
  • I will be practicing what I preach and seeking diligently to find and share the wisdom of others.
  • I will be looking at different perspectives. I want you to know, that I want this to be relevant for you too!

It will be hard. I anticipate tears.

No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening–it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.- Hebrews 12:11

But as my very wise friend told me once,:

“Just because it is hard, does NOT mean it is bad.”

My list for each month is tentatively set (my first step in DISCIPLINING my writing!),

However,  what I want to know is:

  • Where do you lack discipline?
  • When do you find yourself thinking, “If I could only get my sh stuff together?”
  • What areas in life would you like advice on?

I want you to join this journey with me. Feel free to comment or contact me on any area you would like to see me address.

Follow me on Instagram: codlynnwilliams, hashtag: #disciplined2015

I can’t wait to hear from you!

-C

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