Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.~ Proverbs 28:13
Truth: Frida Kahlo’s brows had nothing on the caterpillars that grow on my forehead.
For years I have dealt. I have tweezed and waxed through thick and thin (literally) and came precariously close to shaving them off one night had it not been for the intervention of a close friend who screamed at me to “STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING RIGHT NOW!” So, monthly maintenance of my hairy face is a way of life.
Well, last month…. out of desperation I changed make-up.
By desperation I mean, I am struggling each morning between the hour of 5:30 AM and 6:30 AM ….(that short hour between waking, showering, clothing, feeding (the minis), and leaving for an hourish commute) to find 10 minutes to apply “professional” grade, work appropriate make-up.
(For those of you who are encouraging me to embrace my natural face…. I wish I could. I do during the summer but at almost 30 I still suffer from extreme acne. Not a good look when you teach mean middle-schoolers.)
SO, I caved and bought a compact-style full coverage foundation that has worked miracles.
The miracle has been that no matter how bad the break out…. my face looks not so bad from 6am till 10pm with no additional application. It goes on smoothly. It matches my skin tone and takes 60 seconds to apply. Blush, eyeshadow, and mascara are optional. Its good stuff.
I am able to effectively hide my blemishes.
This (Sunday) morning when I had 5 minutes to get ready for church I actually looked in the mirror. To my dismay, OH NO! the uni-brow was back. Full bushy glory above my nose.
And my first reaction was, “How did that happen?”
For real ladies, I just waxed these things….a … oh. It’s been about 2 weeks since my last waxing and I had been growing in a hedge and I hadn’t even noticed….
because my make-up is that good.
And I looked in the mirror, sighed and thought well, at least no one should notice.
I don’t have time to clean this up…..
I’ll fix it later.
And I threw my makeup in my purse (to apply ON THE WAY TO CHURCH…IN THE CAR) and I began rushing around.
And I yelled at both of my kids
And I yelled at Nathan in the car. I was so stern that the kids were silent on the drive to the church.
As we pulled into the church late, I thought, I should apologize…. I don’t have time. I’ll fix this later.
I sat through the service hearing about the danger of making plans and taking credit for God’s work…..
We came home and Gabriella informed me that she did not like my dress.
I went to change and sighed again over my jacked up hair, but paused and thought….
“well at least my makeup doesn’t look so bad…..”
I’m still married. My bills are paid. I went to small group last night.We gave 4 Foster kids Christmas…. We made it church even if we were late.
And you haven’t apologized to Nathan.
And you didn’t finish the project you started yesterday…..
Or the one where you were going to be grateful (started 3 weeks ago….)
Call your sister.
Mail that card.
Hold your kids.
Stop covering up.
God still sees your sin even when you rationalize it…
(or buff it and make it look shiny or glamorous.)
I took off the ugly dress, made a for real lunch for my kiddos and told Nathan I was sorry. For real.
And in my heart I spoke the Truth that I needed to own.
(That I yell at him for things that are not his fault because I feel overwhelmed by my own shortcomings and self perceived failure.)
A few months back I was bemoaning Facebook to my best-est and closest — talking about how I was overwhelmed with a sense of inadequacy when I saw the photos my “friends” were sharing.
I admitted “un-following” (not de-friending) someone I actually LOVE because their photos made me feel like a failure. A failure because I considered this person a peer.
And she said, “And how do you think people feel when they see your posts?”
Whatever do you mean?
“Well, think about how perfect your headstrong lion-like children appear on your feed? or how perfect Nathan is to ALL OF US WITHOUT a spouse?”
- What part of your life are you glossing over?
- Don’t we all only share our best selves on the Internet?
- What sin are you covering up?
- Don’t we all shudder to admit our sin to our friends?
- What is accountability?
- What ugly spot are you going to “deal with later”?
- What if we don’t have tomorrow?….. or this afternoon?
I started my list.
I started with one act of humility.
I asked the Father for forgiveness.
I will wake up tomorrow grateful for mercy and seek His face.
And I will probably wax my eyebrows. -C
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. -I John 1:9