It is dinner time on December 31, 2012. While absolutely beautiful,  lovely and according to Corbin, “The best Christmas ever!!,” it is more than officially over. The new year is upon us. This post will probably be to long, and resemble rambling but I fear if I attempt to break it into multiple posts it will fail to be timely or I will forget the idea all together. So….

Topic 1: Year 5 as a family is over.

2012 is over…whew (insert dramatic sweeping of the brow) what a year folks! The world did not end on December 21st and it was a good year.

2012 was a year of milestones for us.

Corbin turned 5, started kindergarten, and  was promoted to 1st grade! Gabriella is transitioning beautifully from baby to little girl. Overcoming many marriage and parenting hurdles, Nathan and I made through 5 years of marriage!  And I tried a multitude of new things. 2012 was full of blessings, and some serious heartache.  I am  desperate for a new year. I always am: a fresh start. I suffer from a depressive sort of chronic pessimism that notices a glint of failure in my day to day….so any chance to announce a public do over….I am all in. I am welcoming tomorrow with open arms.

Topic 2: Superstitions

This will be the first year in five that we will not eat a traditional New Year’s Day dinner. You know greens for $green$ and beans for silver. I have also heard it said over and over that, whatever you do on New Year’s Day is what you will be doing the rest of the year. So…. because I was desperate to not end this year looking like a complete disaster (after living off of chocolate and a variety of chip dips for the last month) I made myself an extremely long to do list for yesterday and today. I accomplished almost all of it. We made sure we took down the tree and put away most of the decorations. I hear it is “bad luck” to leave your tree up into the New Year. I spent 15-20 minutes attempting to stretch and perform a few toning exercises. This resulted in me realizing how much damage my lack of exercise the last 2 months has really done….and….. Gabriella informed me that “You are strong Mommy. Do exercise.” She then proceeded to coach me (and Nathan) through various “exercises” we should do.

It was a fight to pull myself out of bed on this, the last morning I have to sleep in, but I am so glad I did. I wouldn’t have missed that moment for the world.  I prepared an actual meal for the crock pot….one that we will eat when I finish typing. We wrote out thank you cards to every person who gave us Christmas gifts and….. I cleaned and vacuumed my gross, child assaulted vehicle, packed an overnight bag all preparing for tomorrow. I will only be with my family half of the day so I will be intentional about how we spend morning. I believe I will get up and cook us a large breakfast to be eaten together and at the same time.  Which leads me to topic three….

Topic 3: PASSION!!!!!

I have never been and technically I am barely a college student anymore… but this year I get to go…. for two of the four days. That is the down side to being gainfully employed: you cannot always take off when you want to. Despite being relegated to what I will call Passionlite, I am so excited. And while I am not joyous about leaving my husband and kids at home, if there is anything to this superstition…..about what you do tomorrow, this might indicate that I will be spending much of my year in in ministry with college students.….which is my dream. Truth be told, I need it to. As much as I am excited about ministering, praying, and loving Jesus in fellowships with these students, I am also so so so thirsty. I am desperate to hear something fresh. (Come back next week to see what I encounter!)

Topic 4: Resolutions?

So what will I do in 2013? I don’t know. I stopped making resolutions a long time ago because they to closely resemble plans, and you should know by now how I feel about plans. I spent a lot of time this year desperately seeking God and learning new things about myself and my family. I attempted (with some success) to simplify my life. I gave generously and sacrificially. These are some things I hope to continue. I spent a lot of time in doubt and fear and under the thumb depression and anxiety. These are things I hope to lose a little more of this coming year. Collectively, we have some major decisions to make. I have to figure out funding for what should be my last year toward my degree…. and what am I going to do once I finish? Nathan has found a PhD program he wants to pursue and all of this leaves the hint and suggestion of moving, which  is fun to talk about but terrifying in reality. What about our role in our community?  So many what ifs….

Topic 5: Prayer

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.~ Matthew 5:6

And here is where I am determined to rest. I will take each day one at a time. I will choose not to be anxious about what the future holds for my family or for my those around me with big things coming. In the next six months, my sister will move far away to where we know not, and five (yes 5! ) babies will be born to my close friends and family. (I’m praying the one down the street is a girl so I can clean out my garage. )  Lots of stuff, that God continues to be sovereign over. SO join with me in resting in HIS sovereignty and the year so beautifully pregnant with possibility. And when it gets a little scary…. pray. I believe if I am committed to anything in 2013, it is prayer.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ~ Phil. 4:6

I believe in it, so much it is hard for me to express sometimes, as is my faith in general. Succinctly, I pray. I probably pray for you. If I do not know you, I still probably pray for you. And if you know me, … I humbly ask that you would pray for us as well. It is the best gift you could ever give me.

So, enter this year with peace, knowing that your Lord desires to bless you this year and draw you close to him.

Happy New Year!